Saturday, August 11, 2007

No Wonder I'm on Medication

As a financially secure, well-fed member of the middle class, my brain expends a lot of energy trying to come up with things to worry about. One of the more original problems it has invented, is the inability to go watch a movie without much stress and hand-wringing. After all, something might go horribly, horribly wrong!

1. The movie might be sold out when I get there, and I might (gasp!) have to change my plans at the last minute.

2. I might get there too early and be bored.

3. I might get there too late and have to find a seat in the dark.

4. The only available seats might be too close to the screen.

5. I might have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the movie and miss something important.

6. Fear of missing something important will keep me from going to the bathroom when I need to and I'll be miserable the whole time.

7. Upon leaving the movie theater, I might go out the wrong door and find myself in a scary dark alley. And, just as I realize my mistake and turn to go back in, the door, "click," locks behind me. Then gangs of hoodlums and vampires attack me and turn me into a zombie.

I know I really shouldn't minimize these extremely important movie-going concerns (well, maybe I should try to minimize that last part), but SERIOUSLY, BRAIN, IT WOULD BE NICE TO JUST GO TO THE DAMN MOVIES LIKE A DAMN NORMAL PERSON FOR ONCE.


However, I am sucking it up and going to see The Simpsons Movie with the lovely and talented FictionFiend in about 15 minutes. This is the first movie I have gone to see in months, and I'm really looking forward to it. In fact, I don't even remember the last time I went to the theater, and neither does The Husband. I'll let you know how it goes - that is unless zombies don't know how to use the internet.


SerenitySprings said...

That's pretty much the reaction I have to going shopping. I fucking hate to go shopping and would rather lose an arm than be forced to shop.

-S- said...

You are obviously not thinking rationally. "Gangs of hoodlums and vampires" would never attack you in an alley and turn you into a zombie.

I mean, hoodlums generally just beat you up, vampires turn you into a vampire (or just kill you). Only a Voodoo sorcerer or another zombie can turn you into a zombie.