Random Photo Friday: Christmas 1986 Edition

I'm so glad someone invented digital cameras. If I took a picture like this nowadays, I'd delete it and try again. I did fix it up a little bit using modern digital technology, so there's that.

Anyway, my family has a long and faithful tradition of photographically documenting our Christmas trees each year. This one isn't too goofy, but get a load of the extra awesome faux fiber optic tree topper there. And is that wall decor fashionable for the mid-eighties, or is it a hold over from the seventies my parents were still enjoying?

I was nine years old and in fourth grade in 1986. This was the last year for quite a while I was remotely cute or cool since I hit puberty the next year way before any of my friends did. And not in a good "early bloomer with big boobs" way. Puberty mostly just stunted my growth and gave me a bad complexion and chubby thighs.

Christmas of 1986, however, I was still a cute little girl in a red velvet dress.

Live Blogging New Years Eve

9 p.m. BAC .00%. Veggie T arrives with a bottle of Captain Morgan rum. We enjoy some nice rummy Silk Soy Nogs.

9:35 p.m. BAC .00%. Traivor and Greeneagles arrive. Receive a text from Holly and family that they won't be back in town until tomorrow. I start on the Hoegaarden with lemons.

9:55 p.m. BAC .03% Sophie Sealegs arrives with spazzy Raz. She is bearing a nice Cab and some champagne.

10:22 p.m. BAC .05%. Playing trivia is proposed. The literary and non-literary types argue about whether to play the Book Lover's version of Trivial Pursuit. Begin 2nd Hoegaarden.

11:13 p.m. BAC .06%. The inevitable reminiscing about drunken exploits begins. Courtesy of the internet, we can illustrate our stories with photographs and video. I regret I missed the Festivus celebration this year.

12:09 a.m. BAC .09%. Happy New Year! I poured everyone a California Chardonnay "Champagne." Nice.

12:23 a.m. BAC .10% We fail as drunken louts. We are too lazy to get the dog naked, let alone ourselves. Sophie Sealegs is double fisting the champagne, to her credit. Greeneagles removes one of three shirts. "More to come, " he says. Traivor blows a .11%. Greeneagles produces a .03%. He has a metabolism like a fucker. Also, he's had 5 plates of food since he got here. Sealegs brings a .08% to the table. Her goal is to drink at least one bottle of champagne. Also, she brought her pajamas, so DUIs won't be an issue.

12:51 a.m. BAC .11% The smoking begins. I engage in double entendre about Traivor's "equipment." Veggie T manages a .05%, but he intends to drive home, so that's a good thing. I try the Barenjager. My verdict: "It tastes like a museum smells."

1:32 a.m. BAC I don't remember. I got distracted. I think we did some trivia.

2:22 a.m. BAC .10%. I need to try harder! I had another cigarette and finished up my Barenjager. We spent some time criticizing our friends' relationships and discussed setting up my vintage Atari. Greeneagles blew a .04%. Like I said: metabolism like a fucker. Traivor managed a .16%. Sealegs is still at a .o8%.

2:50 a.m. BAC .11%. It is literally "on like Donkey Kong." My Atari 2600 from when I was 6 years old is successfully set up. Sealegs continues to add her pajamas over and under her clothes. Veggie T claims that he is blogging this on his "secret fashion blog."

3:05 a.m. BAC .10% *still*. We decide, regarding the Atari, we are "not feeling it." Veggie T is willing to make out with the Strawberry Shortcake game. He discovers the Jungle Hunt cartridge. He "hits that shit." Then we play Ms. Pacman. Somewhere Jeff experiences the ache of loss without really knowing why.

3:26 a.m. BAC .11%. We break out the Super Nintendo to play Super Mario Brothers. Frustrated with my inability to get shit-faced drunk on New Year's, I also break out the tequila shots. Various comments include, "This hurts my tummy," "If I didn't throw up on the floor just now, I'm probably fine for the rest of the night," and "Oh, dear."

3:51 a.m. BAC .12%. Traivor exclaims, "I was looking forward to Bibilatriblia," as Veggie T and Greeneagles leave. He conscripts me into playing Super Mario World literally for the first time in my life. I suck. Big surprise.

4:03 a.m. BAC .11%. Sealegs appears to be asleep, and Traivor is taking Super Mario World way too personally (while hiccuping, may I add). Traivor blows a .17%.

4:31 a.m. BAC whatever-I-don't-care. Sealegs departs. Traivor persists in the Super-Mario-Worlding. The nasty reality that I have to be at work in 28 hours hits me. It takes all my emotional resources not to weep.

Happy New Year, everybody!

Losing the War on Christmas

First of all, if you would like to know exactly how much awesome The Husband brings to this marriage, please read this entry with special attention to #11. Then take a gander at this photo.



Yes, it is the much coveted blue road reflector. The Husband claims he just happened to run into it while walking down the street, but knowing him, he fashioned it out of rare sapphires that he mined himself or something equally ridiculous. Either way, you win Christmas, The Husband. Also, you rock.

Runner up for coolest present of 2007 is this box of random jewelry he scored off ebay.



I'm curious about the origin of all this jewelry because it's such a hodge podge of cool and cute and out of date and perfectly ugly, it's hard to see how this all came from one person's collection. This is my favorite piece so far.



I plan to wear these to my next monkey-oriented fashion gala.

A Considerably Crafty Christmas

Although I lack the dedication to Pledge Handmade, I am trying to choose as many locally handmade gifts for my family as possible, including a few projects I have on my own knitting needles.

Last weekend a couple of friends, The Husband, and I checked out the Urban Street Bazaar, and I came away with some excellent finds, most of which I actually intend to give away at Christmas. So, if you're related to me quit reading now or you might spoil the surprise.

I was about ready to walk away with Kraftivity Studios' entire inventory, but I managed to select three things, only one of which I plan to keep for myself. This cherry blossom plate is finding a home on my shelf.





This little pot is for my grandmother. I think I'm going to plant an African violet in it before I give it to her.



This sad sack Santa is for my mom's stepmother. She's the type of person who can't answer the question, "How are you doing?" without tossing off a comment like, "Oh, you know. The excruciating pain and paralysis come and go, but I guess I'm fine."





I'm giving this hand painted dishtowel to my mom to add to her chicken collection. It comes from MaggieDell's Designs, which doesn't have a website, but it does have a MySpace page. They'll do custom projects, so just drop them a line if you need a barnyard animal painted on your kitchen linens.





This last plate from Superchica is mine, mine, mine. It nearly leapt off the table into my arms. I don't know exactly why it strikes me like it does, but I keep hugging it because I just love it so much.





I picked up this candle from Shambhala Body Gallery to make our house smell all Christmas-ey.



Finally, the Kitchen Beautician (who also doesn't have a website; come on people, join the 21st century) put together this basket for my girly little diva of a twelve-year-old cousin. I've been keeping all the gifts in the spare room until Christmas, and the whole place smells like roses now.

A White Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was especially excellent this year since I got to share it with 14 members of my family - the biggest crowd we've had in years. We were just missing a couple of cousins and uncles who are currently spread across three continents. By Christmas, however, they may all be back in Texas, at least for the holidays. I can't wait.

As remarkable as the family fellowship this year was the weather. It snowed all afternoon.











The day after Thanksgiving my parents and I have a tradition that we cook our own dinner with all our favorite dishes so we can keep all the leftovers for ourselves. One of the downsides of having such a large family is that the leftovers are spread thin even after a huge dinner.

We had (clockwise from the top) squash casserole, crescent rolls, corn casserole, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, Quorn brand turkey substitute, dressing, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, sauteed green beans, wasabi deviled eggs, with mushroom gravy all over everything.



Not pictured is green bean casserole with cream of mushroom soup and french-fried onions because that's just gross. My dad likes it, though. Also not pictured because I forgot is my mom's fruit salad, which is particularly delicious since it's made with peach pie filling. For dessert we made pumpkin pie and cherry pie and homemade whipped cream. We also enjoyed a nice Sauvignon Blanc and then had to drink a pot of coffee to revive ourselves.

Pretty much every Thanksgiving is like this, and I look forward to it all year. I like Thanksgiving way better than Christmas. It offers all the same opportunities to eat too much and hang out with family and take time off work without all the shopping - a truly ideal holiday.

Random Photo Friday: Halloween Edition

This is a timely selection for this week.



On Halloween 2001, The Husband and I had only been dating for about a month. At this early stage in our relationship, he was still acting like a good sport who was willing to go along with my goofy schemes, and I was still acting like I was thin.

After the next year's Sonny and Cher debacle, we never attended another costume party together again.

However, he did have the awesome idea to dress up like a headless wolf to go along with my murderous Little Red Riding Hood costume this year. Alas, that would have required way more effort than we were willing to expend, but I give him full credit for suggesting it.

Halloween Kickoff

The Halloween season got off to an early start this year with the traditional annual crazy-ass costume party last Saturday. I actually sustained an injury to my right eyebrow when I was whapped in the face with pirate-Jesus' cutlass during an ax/sword fight with a phony soldier. At least I'm pretty sure that's what happened; I'm a bit fuzzy on the details.

Here I am at the beginning of the evening:



I hated to pixelate myself because I think I looked pretty cute here. Granted I was going for maniacal, but I'm just too adorable to pull it off.

Now, here I am at the end of the night:



Again, too bad this is a pseudonymous blog because the expression on my face here is way past maniacal and heading towards whacked out. I do not remember posing for this picture. Please note the giant drink in my hand above.

Other highlights included the pirate-Jesus/pimp-Jesus face off and the wildly inappropriate "Klutzo the Christian Clown" costume.

30th Birthday with a Bang

As has become tradition in my family, we enjoyed an evening of blowing stuff up to commemorate my birthday. But first we enjoyed the similarly traditional Crazy Patriotic Cake of Birthday Excellence.



This cake has four delicious layers, between which are additional delicious layers of blueberry and cherry pie filling. Truly a worthy birthday cake.

Then we commenced to blowing stuff up, such as a monkey race car driver.



And a duckling so unruly it's illegal within the city limits.



We had some mighty fine explosions if I do say so myself.

Happy New Year!

Last night The Husband and I drank champagne, watched silly movies, and ate like kings.



There's nothing like starting out the New Year overfed and half-drunk! Midnight found us groaning slightly and watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. We didn't actually get to see said Conquering because we couldn't stay up any later, but least I made it to midnight this year.

Christmas 2006: A Look Back in Silly Pictures

The Husband and I went to visit my folks on Christmas Eve. I know it kind of looks like they live in a Cracker Barrel, but they don't.



It was raining on and off, and when the sun came out we got to see a rainbow. We all thought it seemed terribly symbolic to see a Christmas Eve rainbow, but I don't think any of us knew why.



The sunset was spectacular.



My favorite part of Christmas Eve is when the sun goes down and we get to turn on all the lights.





Can't forget the baby Jesus!



Here's my Grandma's house. It was really hard to get these pictures outside because it started raining again, and my tripod was sinking in the mud.



If you turn your back on my Grandma's house, you see my parents' house.



Here's their hitchin' post.



We've been saving these fireworks since last New Year's Eve, but the drought was so bad all year we never got to shoot them off. This was the first Fourth of July in my memory when we didn't get to have any fireworks at all for fear of burning Parker County down. It may not be traditional to set off fireworks on Christmas Eve, but it was raining, and we were all together, so we thought, "What the hell?" I mean, "heck." We wouldn't think the word "hell" on Christmas Eve.



On Christmas Day, we visited the other side of my family. Most of the pictures I took were goofy ones of my brother. In respect for his privacy, I'm not blogging them all over the internet for the whole world to see. But, there was a really cute Christmas tree ornament.



We also spent time with The Husband's family, opening presents and playing with the bay-bee, whose internet-related privacy I am also respecting. Most of the pictures turned out like this, anyway. He's a wiggly little booger.



I hope all y'all had as much fun as I did!

A Very Whedon Season's Greetings

Many thanks to The Husband for such awesome Christmas gifts!

Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas

The Christmas tree is complete! Until The Husband and I have our tree, I can't really feel the spirit of the season. Here's this year's beauty.



Just for comparison, here's last year's.



Now that we're real grown-up people, and not broke-ass college students or adorably broke newlyweds, we traded up to a real tree sold to us by a real hillbilly who made it abundantly clear that he works on commission. After driving by the grocery store and seeing trees for 10 times less than what we paid, I think we should have haggled. But, hey! It's Christmas!