A Cat and Her Pants

nap time for the feline

i am typing this with one hand because the cat is sleeping on the other one. she's dreaming, and her toes and ears are twitching like crazy. she is too adorable to disturb.

i am not at work but instead am trapped under my cat because i am waiting for the plumber to come back and do expensive things to our pipes. although the pipes are located underneath the house, this will involve climbing on the roof. i don't know. it made sense when he explained it to me.

i hope the cat wakes up soon because i need both hands to finish my christmas knitting.

oh no. she just stretched and sighed and is beginning to ooze onto the keyboard. must go. more later.

Random Photo Friday: Oh, Yeah, I Almost Forgot About Doing This Edition

Today's selection requires no explanation.



It's a cat! Wearing a bandanna!

I'm totally sending this to Stuff On My Cat.

House guest

This is my dog-in-law, Xena: Dogular Princess.



Or maybe Xena: Warrior Dogcess. I don't know. I didn't name her.

Anyway, this goofy girl is staying with us for the Thanksgiving holiday while my pop-in-law and his attractive and sophisticated wife head out of town. She's sweet and all, but she certainly hasn't affected my extreme prejudice in favor of animals of the cat persuasion.

She keeps sticking her head in my crotch and breathing on me with her hot dog breath, and she's way too big to curl up in my lap. It is fun to take her for a walk, though. Dizzy Wizzy Kitty never really leaves the house. Sometimes I carry her around in the yard or let her walk around the fenced back yard while I follow about three feet behind her.

Dizzy and Xena do NOT get along. Xena very much wants to smooch or possibly swallow Dizzy, and Dizzy very much wants to kill Xena. I'm glad our house has lots of doors. We've created the Dizzy zone and the Xena zone.

Although cats have the reputation for being aloof and independent, Xena is much more self-sufficient than Dizzy. Last night Xena actually put herself to bed. Around 10:30 she went in her kennel and laid down. The Husband gave her a treat and closed the door, and we didn't hear another peep out of her.

Dizzy, on the other hand, stomps around meowing until I lie down in the bed. Then she crawls on me all night. It must have been particularly cold last night because I woke up with Dizzy sleeping half on my neck and half on my face. Later she pushed all the blankets off of me with her nose because she was trying to burrow under them. Meanwhile the dog was soundly (and quietly) sleeping in her own room in her own bed.

I wouldn't trade my Dizzy Wizzy Kitty for the world, though.

The Cuteness!

Ahhh! It hurts my eyes! So. Much. Cute. Can't take the cuteness...

Just What the Internet Needed

To prove I haven't totally forgotten about this blog, here are some gratuitous cat photos. Enjoy!

The Husband

It's a good thing The Husband is all cute and helpless right now because of this conversation we had yesterday:

I'm blah, blah, blahing about some potential career plans I might have. He makes a sound like he wants to say something, so I ask, "What?" He says, "Nothing. It's just that you sounded like you knew what you were talking about there for a second."

!

Anyway, poor The Husband was a victim of some slippery grass on a hill and has hurt himself pretty badly. There's nothing that makes you feel married to a person like helping him put his pants on. He couldn't make it up the stairs to go to bed last night, and it seems to have upset Dizzy Wizzy Kitty. I think she thinks cat-Mommy and cat-Daddy are fighting, what with the cat-Daddy sleeping on the couch and all. We've reassured her that it has nothing to do with her and sometimes cat-Daddies fall down and hurt themselves. It's not her fault. I doubt we'll have to resort to cat-therapy.

I can't blame The Husband too much for his surprise at my momentary articulateness (see - totally momentary). I chatter at The Husband for an hour straight sometimes. If you added up all the words I have ever said to everyone on the earth ever, it still wouldn't add up to the amount of stuff I've said to The Husband over the past several years we've been together. Rather than being insulted at his surprise when I sound knowledgeable, I'm just impressed he's still listening.

Cutest Little Parasite Ever

When I first got Dizzy, she would only begrudgingly sit on my lap if I spread a blanket over it. Even then, she would just uncomfortably crouch on my leg. As we became best buddies over the years, Dizzy started sleeping with me, sleeping on me, sitting on me, lying on me, and finally following me around while loudly demanding that I sit down in order to facilitate opportunities for her to lie on me.

Recently Dizzy has stepped up her fucking annoying wildly adorable need to be near me. Now she's decided that she needs to be inside my clothing while lying on me.

Warning: Too Disgusting for Anyone to Read

I've been gone a long time, getting ready to go out of town, being out of town, swabbing my cat's ruptured anal gland with peroxide. Oh yeah, I've been getting alot of not-so-HOTT anal action (sorry to disappoint you perverted Googlers out there).

When The Husband and I came home from our trip late last Friday night, Dizzy seemed fine. But over the weekend, she got punier and punier. She just lied in the same place all day. On Monday when I got home from work, she didn't even get up to come see me. But later that night, she made her way downstairs whining and wanting to be held. That's when I discovered the gaping wound on her backside.

Of course I freaked out and called my dad immediately. (He's a vet. I don't call him on a regular basis to update him on the state of my cat's butt.) He said it sounded like an abscess from the way I described it, which is usually caused by a bite. I started wondering what the hell C (the wonderful, trusty, volunteer cat sitter. Thanks, C!) was doing biting my poor cat on the ass while I was out of town.

I took off work on Tuesday to take Dizzy to the vet, and it turned out that her anal gland had gotten infected, which is probably why she was feeling so crappy, and then it ruptured, letting out the infection and making Dizzy feel better, even though it looks utterly gross.

In addition to the butt-swabbing, I also have to give Dizzy a pill once a day. Not to minimize Sophie Sealegs's nail-trimming accomplishments, but I have managed to give the cat her pill unassisted and with no major injuries on either of our parts. The next challenge: to brush her teeth on a regular basis.

I shall make you a star!

Like any proud mother of an exceptionally beautiful fur-baby, I want the world to see how precious my little Dizzy-wizzy boo boo head truly is. I have submitted Dizzy's picture to Cute Overload. If they post her picture, she really will be famous. The site has been written up in everything from the Washington Post to Entertainment Weekly. For April Fool's Day this year Slashdot featured them, and the tagline for the day was, "OMG!!! Ponies!!!"

Here's the photo I sent in:


My second choice was this one:


What do you think? Should I send in the second one?

Anyway, Cute Overload isn't all fluffy bunnies and jelly beans. It cracks my shit up, too. This post just about gave me an aneurysm. This lady found a baby possum in her toilet in the middle of night. She speculates what would have happened if she hadn't discovered the possum before she sat down.

"What if I didn't turn on the light? I hardly ever turn on the light at night to pee. What if I went to pee and it brushed against my butt? Or if i was wiping and it touched my hand? Karen thinks that I would have thought I had a opossum baby, which is possible. Then we would have to name him Jesus and it would be a miracle to be investigated by the church."

Here are a few more of my favorites:

Orangutans? Cute? You wouldn't think so. You'd be wrong.

Chihuahua puppies = cute.

OMG! Kitten belly!

Just try not to overload on the cute.