Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Feeling Better

All y'all are great. I was grossing myself out with all the whinging and the hand-wringing. "Oh, my life isn't perfect, and I'm not ecstatically happy all the damn time. Wah, wah, wah." Everyone who had anything to say was really supportive and understanding and cut me a lot more slack than I've been willing to give myself. The internet can be an ugly place, and I still get a little stomach ache whenever I see a comment from someone I don't know. But, so far I haven't had to deal with any drive-by meanies, just nice people. Yay, nice people!

As always, just articulating what was bothering me has made me feel 100% better. My job is fine, and my life is good, and I'm working on chilling the eff out. As I've said before, I think my well-fed, middle class brain spends too much time looking for problems to worry about. I need to be careful about making any big decisions I can't take back (like quitting my job) while in the throes of a brain spasm.

I used to be a much calmer person, who couldn't be ruffled by the worst crisis. As I get older, I find myself a lot more easily knocked off kilter. In many ways, as life gets easier, I take it harder. Who knows what my problem is. I mean other than an anxiety disorder, but how the hell did I end up with that? Ah, mental health...so fleeting, so boring, so wonderful.

For right now, I'm just going to take a deep breath, try to relax, and work on a new "Duckling Drinks" post.

1 comment:

psychicgeek.com said...

I haven't had any meanies either. I know some people fear Old Knudsen, but he really is a good sort, he has a British type sense of humour.
And, why not give yourself some slack? You should be your own best friend. No need to feel guilty that your life is getting good. You got your education, and didn't spend your money on crack. You deserve it to be good!