Saturday, August 19, 2006


I think that someone is stealing little things from my office. First, I had a pair of headphones disappear. That was right around the time I moved from my cube into a closet an office. I could have sworn I had the headphones in my new office, but it was possible that I just lost track of them. Also, they were pretty crappy, kind of falling apart, old school headphones that probably came for free with a portable tape player (yes, tape player), so it wouldn't make any sense for someone to take them.

Next, I couldn't find my hand sanitizer. I looked in all my desk drawers, my cabinets, my purse, my file drawers. Then, I dug around in all the drawers of my old desk, which I'm sure the person currently sitting there just loved. It was definitely gone. But, I figured, it was a pretty small bottle, so maybe I used it all up and just forgot.

Then, my Tic Tacs vanished. That was when I really started to think that something weird was going on. A couple of mornings ago, I was going to a meeting with my boss. She came to my office to get me, and, since I had just been drinking coffee, I popped a few Tic Tacs into my mouth and left to go to the meeting. I got back around lunch time, had a bite to eat, and intended to have some Tic Tacs. They were gone. No Tic Tacs in my desk. I knew they were there just a few hours ago. In case I had put them in my purse, I emptied the whole thing out. No Tic Tacs in my purse. Maybe I did put them in my purse and they fell out in the car. No Tic Tacs in the car. What the hell?

Am I going crazy? The story of the time someone stole my computer will probably convince you that I am.

When I moved into my office my computer moved with me. It was finally set up close to the end of the day, so before I went home I checked that the computer was hooked up correctly, I could log onto the network, etc. Everything seemed fine, but when I came in the next morning, the computer was off, which seemed strange because I had left it on the night before.

I reached under my desk to turn on the tower, and it was gone. I knew it had been there the night before. Why would someone have taken my computer? I was pretty pissed off because I had been roaming around from cubicle to cubicle for two days trying to find unused computers to work on while my office was being set up. Finally I had an office to myself, and what do they do? Take my computer for no reason without even telling me.

I called the office manager find out where my computer was, and I'm getting ready to be all huffy and annoyed. She picked up the phone at the same moment I noticed a significant detail. I never had a tower under my desk. I had a desktop computer sitting right there under my monitor. "Uh, wrong number," I mumbled as I gently hung up the phone and began my day without further incident.

So you see, I can imagine opening a drawer someday and finding my headphones, my hand sanitizer, and my Tic Tacs innocently sitting there as they had been all along. In the meantime, does anyone have any surveillance equipment I could borrow?


AmalgamatedBreathWorkersLocal151 said...

Your TicTacs will return to work when you provide a fair wages and a fair working environment.

UnrulyDuckling said...

I already brought in some scab worker TicTacs at a huge pay cut. Take that you commie pinko breath fresheners!

Dave-o-ramA said...

Scab tictacs? EEEWWWWWWW!

SerenitySprings said...

Out of control. Both of you.