It's just like riding a wire fence

Surely, this can not be for real. It might be the best thing on the internet.

What's "really" going on

Some very important news from the world of conspiracy theories:

Osama bin Laden killed Princess Diana

Fluoride in the drinking water is corporate toxic waste

The Bilderberg group controls the fate of the world

The X-Files is nothing more than a rip-off of the 70's hit Saturday morning
cartoon, Scooby Doo!

Timothy McVeigh was a victim of government mind-control

Or, you can create your own conspiracy theory.

Wha?

I have the public radio station on pretty much all the time, so it kind of starts to fade into the background. Every once in a while I hear something that makes me snap to and wonder if I missed something.

This is what I heard yesterday: Bush is going to reallocate American troops around the world, including ''removing 1/3 of US troops from South Korea''. I was under the impression that North Korea may be (not discounting India/Pakistan and the good ol’ US of A) the country most-likely-to-nuke-the-hell-out-of-somebody, possibly including our very own State of California. Shouldn’t we be keeping a very close, well-armed eye on them?

John Kerry and John McCain agree with me. And McCain is a Bush-hugging Republican.

It's a charmed life...

This is what it is like to be unemployed: If [The Boyfriend] comes home, and I'm actually wearing pants, he asks, "So, what are you all dressed up for?"

The bar has officially been set too low.

I have a problem

The other day I tried to type the word "toy" and instead typed the word "you". What kind of messed-up Freudian slip is that?

This is only funny/weird if you have some familiarity with the novel ===Infinite Jest===, but when I Googled "David Foster Wallace" and "Infinite Jest" these are the sponsored links that showed up in the sidebar:

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The last one makes plenty of sense, and the first one is not entirely unjustifiable, but where on earth did those middle two come from? (#3 is my favorite.)

By the way, if you have not read ===Infinite Jest=== and you have the least bit literary bent/fucked-up sense of humor you are really missing something. If you have read it, I would love to hear your take on the end. No spoilers here, but I was disappointed, although not surprised. Very rarely do I read a novel that has a thoroughly satisfying conclusion that isn't a completely trite play on my emotions. In fact I can't think of a single one this minute. Any nominations for best literary ending?

Just my opinion

I'm obviously not an inveterate blogger or whatever they're called, but I have been reading a few journals. I would like to submit that both of the following topics are juvenile and completely overdone, so everyone should stop writing about them.

1) How much you enjoy drinking beer and how hungover you are.

2) That every other cubicle-dweller at your stupid office job is a cud-chewing moron but you are ultra hip and avant-garde and superior to them all in every way.

Returning in Lonely Defeat

Actually lonely and phlegmy defeat. I caught this nasty cold at the hostel in Caernarfon, and that was it. I headed back to London and got on a plane as fast as my little legs would carry me.

Fortunately, I left on a high note. I went out to Mount Snowden and took the train to the top, but I decided to walk down instead. The summit was completely enshrouded in clouds. Although it ruined the view, it was very otherworldly to actually be standing inside of a cloud. I enjoyed the solitude while hiking down the path. All I could hear was the wind and the occasional sheep bleating. Once I descended past the clouds, there were some amazing views down into the valleys with glassy lakes at the bottom and across the countryside onto slopes of other mountains. I realized as I was walking that this was just what I had traveled all this way to do and that I should really consider leaving while the experience was still fresh in my mind.

When I reached the town at the foot of the mountain and was waiting for the bus back to Caernarfon, the excitement of hiking down all on my own began to wear off, and fatigue overwhelmed me. My head was so clogged up that I couldn't hear. I could see people's lips moving, but had no idea what they were saying. I knew then I had to go home. The idea of navigating my way onto a ferry and across the sea to Dublin was completely beyond me. As soon as I got back to Caernarfon I went to the tourist office and got the timetables for the train back to London.

I have never been this glad to be home after a trip in my life. Usually I leave a vacation with some regret, but this time I didn't mind leaving one bit.

Escape from Cardiff

I made it out. I was so nervous because there is only one bus a day which leaves Cardiff for Caernarfon, which is where my next reservations were. If I missed it I would be screwed, so I got to the bus station about an hour early and asked three different people if I was waiting at the right stop, and sure enough - it showed up, I got on, and was whisked away.

However, I had to change buses in Aberystwyth, and although the bus driver told us where to get the bus and when it was leaving, he did not think to explain that the number of the bus would change or what it would change to. After waiting for half an hour in what was the wrong place anyway (thanks, bus driver) I realized I'd missed the bus, but I didn't even care. I would just stay there, just so long as it wasn't Cardiff. Luckily, there was another bus going in the right direction, so I made it to the place I intended to be after all. Not bad.

Caernarfon (pronounced ca-NAR-von) is a pretty town, which is fortunate because I plan to stay here for three nights. There are still medieval walls around the central part of town where my hostel is, so it's like walking into a castle whenever I go back to my room. Also, it's right on the sea. When the tide is out, it's right on a mud flat. BUT, when the tide is in it's a good view. Also, there is ''another'' castle here. I haven't decided if I'm going to spend the time and money to go in it, but a couple of people staying in my room said it was alot of fun.

What I really want to do is go to Mt. Snowden, the highest peak in England or Wales. It's in the middle of Snowdonia National Park, and there's a little train that will take you to the summit. The views are supposed to be gorgeous, except it's really cloudy and misty right now.

Well, hopefully Caernarfon will be a hit and I'll make it to Dublin after this instead of coming home in lonely defeat. Don't think I haven't thought about it.

This place sucks

I am not having a good day. I am tired out and kind of lonely, but that has pretty much been par for the course. However, today I got a big disappointment. When I first started researching coming to the UK I got this guidebook with photographs in the front. One of the most beautiful pictures I had ever seen was of Caerphilly Castle, and I thought, "No matter what else, I have to go there." It has big round towers and is surrounded by a moat (in which the sunset was reflected in that stupid photograph which lured me here). It is also in the middle of a stinky city with a 6 lanes of traffic whizzing by.

I already hated being in Cardiff. It's filthy and crowded and loud. Then when one of the things I was most looking forward to turned out to be so un-picturesque and un-lovely it killed my attitude. It's almost five now, and I'm back at the hostel. I'm going to lie in my bed and read a book and not step foot back outside until I'm ready to leave this place.

Moral of the story: Don't come to Cardiff.

Day of Really Old Stones

I visited Stonehenge today, and didn't find it to be what I expected. It was alot smaller than I thought it would be. Maybe it was just because you couldn't get very close, but I was a little bit disappointed. All around there though, are ancient barrow mounds, and you can hike out a little ways to see them. I enjoyed walking through the fields and on the hills better than marching around Stonehenge with the other tourists.

Then I went to Avesbury and it wasn't what I expected either. The ring of stones is bigger than Stonehenge, but they're very spaced out and don't have the cross pieces on the top. There's no admission or anything to see them. You can just walk all through the sheep pastures (Mind the sheep dung!) and over the huge grassy ridge that the prehistoric people built around the stones. The views over the countryside were spectacular, green rolling hills and neat little fields as far as you could see.

On the way back into Salisbury I stopped to see Old Sarum, the orginal site of Salisbury. All that is left is a ruined castle on top of a tall mound. From the mound you can look down onto the outline of the original cathedral. It was very green and moody and windswept. Very much like the England I had in my mind before I came.

After that rugged day in the countryside, I have come to Cardiff, the capital of Wales. It's a typical, very urbanized city, and I don't care for it very much so far. I went to see Cardiff Castle and it was pretty interesting, though. The site goes back to 79 AD when the Romans built a fort there, and you can go down into an excavation to see the old walls. Normans built a keep there around 1000 AD and a castle grew up around it. In the late 1800's a really rich marquess lived there and had it refurbished and redecorated in keeping with Victorian ideas of a Medieval castle. It's admittedly very beautiful and opulent, but I doubt that the Normans had the walls inlaid with Italian marble and the ceilings gilded with 22K gold.

Tomorrow I'll take a day trip to another castle outside of town (I'm beginning to see how heavily castles are going to figure into my itinerary), and hopefully I'll get to see some countryside. I'm liking hiking around through the grass much better than making my way through traffic.

Oxford - Thumbs Up

Oxford was really charming. All of the colleges are beautiful old buildings, and there is a botanical garden that Magdalen College uses for research, which also very lovely and peaceful. I found it strange, though, that one of the most popular attractions in town seemed to be the shopping district. One of the streets was all blocked off from traffic and was lined with "The Gap"-equivalent type stores. Why anyone would travel to a quaint medieval town, an ancient seat of learning and culture, to buy strappy sandals and brand name T-shirts I will never know.

One quirky thing I saw was the Norrington room of Blackwell's book store. There are more books for sale in one room here than there are anywhere else is the world. I think there are 3 miles of bookshelves. Also, I got to see Queen's College where Rowan Atkinson studied engineering before going on to Mr. Bean/Black Adder fame.

My favorite thing, however, was my daytrip to Blenheim Palace. The Duke of Marlborough actually lives there, so you can't wander through much of the palace itself, but the gardens and parks are spectacular. You can look at pictures at [http://www.blenheimpalace.com]. (I'm not going to go into too much detail about anything because internet access is bloody expensive. 30 minutes here costs £2.50, and the exchange rate is $1.75 per pound, so you do the math.)

I came to Salisbury today with plans of seeing Stonehenge and Avesbury tomorrow. Avesbury is Stonehenge's older, larger, yet for some reason less visited cousin. The hostel is pretty nice, but the location is particularly pleasant. It's on the edge of town, off the road, in a grove of trees. I almost feel like I'm camping. It's a nice change from the traffic of London and the lovely right-next-to-the-train-station locale of the one in Oxford.

Underwhelmed in London

Today I spent pretty much the whole day walking around looking at parks - St. James Park, Green Park, Hyde Park, and Kensington Gardens. St. James Park was beautiful. It's a pretty small park with a canal running through it, which is filled with all kinds of waterfowl, including - very oddly - at least five giant, not very shy pelicans. Hyde Park had a lovely rose garden with mounds and mounds of blooms. Other than that, the parks seemed to just be big lawns with trees and the very occasional statue. I'm sad to say I got really bored. I even fell asleep in a lawn chair in Hyde Park - a chair you had to pay to sit in!! I didn't care, though. I was so tired of walking around, and I knew I wouldn't be comfortable on the ground.

The only other sight I visited today was Buckingham Palace. Also mostly a non-sight. I got there too early to see the changing of the guard, and they only let people in late in the summer when the queen leaves. So, I was left to look at the front of a massive, unlovely block of a building.

I'm glad I'll be leaving London tomorrow for Oxford. Hopefully it will tickle my fancy a little bit better.

I'm here - in London

I don't know why, but I'm not feeling too motivated to write much about London so far. It's no Paris, that's for sure. I can't really identify the difference. I guess London seems more modern. There are skyscrapers in the city proper and lots of cranes and construction going on. Paris has made a real effort to keep the city central picturesque and historical. Also, the traffic seems even worse here, and it was cRaZy in Paris, so that's saying alot. There's also quite a cultural difference. This morning in the reception room Everybody Loves Raymond was on the TV; yesterday the tour guide at the Tower made joke about KFC; and there are Starbucks on every corner. Just that right there would probably make the French throw up.

Anyway, I know I'm not going to come close to seeing everything I'd like to. However, the sights that I've seen have been incredible. I've been to the Tower of London, Tower Bridge, the British Museum, the Tate Modern art museum, and St.Paul's Cathedral. Unfortunately, St. Paul's is being restored, so the interior was not very impressive, but I climbed up all the stairs into the dome (it seems like I go all over Europe just to climb up stairs and look at things from up high) and got a great view of the city. It is such a crowded jumble of buildings. Not much is distinctive about the skyline.

I wanted to put some pictures here of what I've been looking at, but this computer service really sucks. It will only let me open one window, so I can't look stuff up on Google and edit this post at the same time. I guess you'll have to look them up yourself if you care.

I've written an awful lot for someone who isn't motivated to write anything, so I suppose I'm done now.