It's just like riding a wire fence

Surely, this can not be for real. It might be the best thing on the internet.

What's "really" going on

Some very important news from the world of conspiracy theories:

Osama bin Laden killed Princess Diana

Fluoride in the drinking water is corporate toxic waste

The Bilderberg group controls the fate of the world

The X-Files is nothing more than a rip-off of the 70's hit Saturday morning
cartoon, Scooby Doo!

Timothy McVeigh was a victim of government mind-control

Or, you can create your own conspiracy theory.

Wha?

I have the public radio station on pretty much all the time, so it kind of starts to fade into the background. Every once in a while I hear something that makes me snap to and wonder if I missed something.

This is what I heard yesterday: Bush is going to reallocate American troops around the world, including ''removing 1/3 of US troops from South Korea''. I was under the impression that North Korea may be (not discounting India/Pakistan and the good ol’ US of A) the country most-likely-to-nuke-the-hell-out-of-somebody, possibly including our very own State of California. Shouldn’t we be keeping a very close, well-armed eye on them?

John Kerry and John McCain agree with me. And McCain is a Bush-hugging Republican.

It's a charmed life...

This is what it is like to be unemployed: If [The Boyfriend] comes home, and I'm actually wearing pants, he asks, "So, what are you all dressed up for?"

The bar has officially been set too low.

I have a problem

The other day I tried to type the word "toy" and instead typed the word "you". What kind of messed-up Freudian slip is that?

This is only funny/weird if you have some familiarity with the novel ===Infinite Jest===, but when I Googled "David Foster Wallace" and "Infinite Jest" these are the sponsored links that showed up in the sidebar:

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Infinite Jest: A Novel
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The last one makes plenty of sense, and the first one is not entirely unjustifiable, but where on earth did those middle two come from? (#3 is my favorite.)

By the way, if you have not read ===Infinite Jest=== and you have the least bit literary bent/fucked-up sense of humor you are really missing something. If you have read it, I would love to hear your take on the end. No spoilers here, but I was disappointed, although not surprised. Very rarely do I read a novel that has a thoroughly satisfying conclusion that isn't a completely trite play on my emotions. In fact I can't think of a single one this minute. Any nominations for best literary ending?

Just my opinion

I'm obviously not an inveterate blogger or whatever they're called, but I have been reading a few journals. I would like to submit that both of the following topics are juvenile and completely overdone, so everyone should stop writing about them.

1) How much you enjoy drinking beer and how hungover you are.

2) That every other cubicle-dweller at your stupid office job is a cud-chewing moron but you are ultra hip and avant-garde and superior to them all in every way.